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  • Collaborative Divorce: A New Paradigm
    Collaborative Divorce: A New Paradigm
    by Pauline H. Tesler, Peggy Thompson
  • The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, Lower Costs, and Happier Kids--Without Going to Court
    The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, Lower Costs, and Happier Kids--Without Going to Court
    by Stuart G. Webb, Ronald D. Ousky
  • Stop Fighting Over The Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations (Mike Mastracci's Divorce Without Dishonor)
    Stop Fighting Over The Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations (Mike Mastracci's Divorce Without Dishonor)
    by Mike Mastracci
  • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
    Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
    by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
  • Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
    Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
    by Kerry Patterson

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Questions You Want Answered > General Family Law Information > What should I do before I leave my spouse?

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1.   Decide whether you really want a divorce.  This seems like a very simplistic response, but it is the most important question you can ask.  Would marriage counselling help?  Do I just need some time to think?  This is a very important decision with serious, long ranging consequences.  You should be certain before you go.

2.  Talk to a lawyer before you do anything.  Once you have left, it's too late.  Maryland laws of separation, divorce, custody and support are complicated, and you need the advice of a professional before you do something that may adversely impact your case, and by extension, your future life.

3.  If you have had an affair, do not tell your spouse or anyone else before you speak with a lawyer.  Maryland divorce law is fault based, and adultery is a ground for divorce that belongs to the spouse not having the affair, and it can affect property distribution and spousal support.  In Maryland, it is also a crime.  A lawyer can best advise you about whether, when and how to reveal this information in a way that does not hurt your case.

4.  Gather as much information as possible about what you and your spouse own and what you and your spouse owe.  What I mean by "gather information" is make copies of any documents that show what you or your spouse own, what the items are worth and how much you owe.  Make copies of those paers for yourself and keep them in a safe place, to which your spouse does not have access.  Take that information to a lawyer and talk with the lawyer about how you can best safeguard your money and your property during divorce.  Protect your credit by determining which of your credit cards are joint and which are in your or your spouse's sole name, and freeze or close those joint accounts. 

5.  If you have children, do not leave the house without some kind of agreement with your spouse about where the children will live, at least temporarily, and when they will see each parent.  Most courts in Maryland do not consider withholding child access to be an emergency, and it could be many months before the court could decide, even on a temporary basis, when the children will see each parent.

Last updated on September 4, 2013 by Karen Robbins, Attorney at Law